Having a helper

Recently, I was catching up with a good friend. Her husband and my husband were deployed to Iraq at the same time. We have this bond. It's really inexplicable unless you've gone through a really tough time (like a 15 month deployment) I'd imagine illness or sad times or similar horrible times would create a similar bond. Truly, the line of friend and family blurred as we pulled each other through a tough time, while having some really good times in the process. And yes, there were moments I wished I had moved back home with my parents, for the safety of it all, but now I am just so thankful that I was given the opportunity as a married woman to build bonds with other married women that are so strong. This past week I had the opportunity to reunite with two of the three other women that we jokingly refer to as the LAWs (a term coined by none-other than my own mother short for Lesbian Army Wives-because during the deployment we did everything together short of being lesbians.) It meant driving 3.5 hours each way, but to me it was completely worth it. Although with the phone and facebook we do keep in touch, it just isn't the same as being with each other. SO, I loaded up the car and the two year old, and off we went for a visit. I think my husband thought I was crazy, but I just couldn't pass the opportunity to be with my people.

We had a great visit! It was just not long enough. But the most amazing thing was how rejuivinated I felt being together. It was like no time had passed. And really, I felt very lucky to have these amazing people in my life. BUT, we were missing our 4th wheel, and that made me/us sad, especially because there is the reality that we don't know when and if all of us will be together again (especially in the age of young children!)

So, on my trip home I called my friend (our friend who wasn't with us) she just had her first child and we were talking about how amazing and hard motherhood is...and really, I think the resolution to that is: we need a wife. And don't get me wrong, I love my husband, and he is a HUGE HUGE HUGE help-a true partner-and best friend, BUT, sometimes he just doesn't get it. But a wife, I know a wife would get it.

I often talk to my college roommate/best friend (on an almost daily basis) and it's horrible to admit, but my husband recently told me that if something happened to both of our husbands she and I could have a domestic partnership because we'd both be really happy. And he's right. We would be really happy.

But in the meantime, I'm apart from my people. I live far from high school friends, college friends, and Army friends...and I have my "helper" and when I say helper, I mean, the person who I often direct the comment: not helpful...to.

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